Bridal shower was this past weekend. Jeff and I really weren't interested in having one, but it meant a lot to my mom, and, well, we did need a new toaster oven. It was a somewhat stressful weekend, but had its moments. Dad had two of his relatives in from Sicily, a cousin he hadn't seen since 1973 (Nunzia) and her son (Antonio). The latter spoke English, but the former did not. My mother was having her typical anger episodes, and all her annoying tendencies were exacerbated, but I'm grateful for all she did. My sister seems to have tempered herself around me and really did a lot to help things along, despite her clashes with my mom. Jen's kids really love me -- it kinda boggles my mind since I don't even have to try.

I mentally checked out during the shower. Intense social situations are difficult for me, and this situation took a lot of energy. I was going up to people constantly trying to strike up conversations and be a good host. To maintain my sanity, I had to be a bit disassociated. Choked up a couple times. As always, Jeff was always checking in to see if I was ok. It was like this face of clarity. Incidentally, I had one of the drowning dreams again last night, but this time Jeff was there.

Some thoughts/moments (as scattered as my brain is right now):

• Nunzia leaning into me and giving me a hug at the shower. She spoke to me in Italian once, and I actually almost understood her. The rest of the weekend, we it seemed we both really wanted to talk to each other, but I could only pick up small talk between her and my mom. The most complicated thing I could say was "I study Italian, I have a book, but I don't remember because I don't speak it daily." It kind of amazed me, because I sort of blurted it out in frustration at my dad. I don't know how correct I was... I think I momentarily confused the word "ricordo" with "dimenticare" (ironically), but it gives me hope that I can manage to learn it eventually.

• There were lots of little girls between 5 and 10 years old at the party. When they first arrived, they seemed shy and bored, but they quickly started playing on the deck outside the hall and seemed to have a blast making a bouquet out of all the ribbons I was pulling off the gift boxes. It made me happy, because I can remember how not-fun some of the adult social events were when I was a kid, and some of my best memories of weddings and such involve me escaping outside with my cousins' kids.

• The night before, going to Tremont and hanging out with my sister, brother-in-law Rick, Antonio and a couple of Jen's high school friends. Jeff and I skipped out for a bit and explored the neighborhood with Antonio. We wanted to give him an opportunity to see the city a little... I imagine he's bored out of his mind hanging out with my parents. He and Jeff geeked out over mechanical things, and we gave him some advice for visiting New York City. He split with us and Jeff and I had a moment to go to the edge of Tremont where the road drops off into this industrial valley with a beautiful view of the skyline. After that was headed back and hung out at a couple arty bars, where Jen and I got a chance to vent about everything and Jeff finally had a real chance to get to know her and Rick.

• That night, our sleep situation was horrible. Only one uncomfortable couch was available, and in the commotion, noone had left out any blankets or pillows. I managed to scrounge up some that were less-than-ideal, but it was a tight squeeze and sleep was fitful. Last night were were so exhausted. This morning I was an hour late to work and it took all my energy to get out of bed. We're really happy to be home.

Now begins the process of organizing, replacing, recycling, returning a couple things to the store, writing thank you notes. Jeff and I mostly got things off our registry. There were a couple WTF gifts, but some of the surprises were nice and very thoughtful. Somehow managed to fit most of it in my Civic. Last night we immediately set up a new lamp and christened the toaster oven. Hopefully when we are done, it will feel that much more like a home.

p.s. Anyone want an awesome super 70's blender?

Three years ago this week, I was fretting over this fellow I knew from my old job. We'd been emailing back and forth with increasing frequency over the previous weeks. Christmas eve, he sent me one more. A close friend of his, someone he knew his whole life had just died that day. The man's wife had died only a month earlier. He was obviously distraught, but tried not to show it. My heart softened at that moment. Soon after, I went to sleep in my sister's loft at her home in Indiana. That night I had a dream. It was simple and brief. He was behind me, with his arms wrapped around me and his head nestled in my shoulder. The next morning, I woke up with such a warm, contented feeling. I knew at that moment, before we even went on our first date, that I was already in love with him.

The date is set: August 29, 2009. At the same church I graduated. Reception at a WWII inspired hall, which is appropriate, I suppose, since we made it official on December 7th. He'd asked me in September, but being a princess, I waited for the ring.

I don't have anything new to say about the election. It still hasn't completely set in. I made an early decision to back Obama. Back in February, I watched a debate with all of the democratic primary contenders. During this debate, one question pulled from the national audience was: "Do you believe that, through the power of prayer, disasters like Hurricane Katrina or the Minnesota bridge collapse could have been prevented or lessened?

I listened carefully as each candidate fumbled at this ridiculous inquiry -- trying to give a reasonable response without alienating those precious religious voters.

When it came to Obama, this is what he said:

I believe in the power of prayer. And part of what I believe in is that, through prayer, not only can we strengthen ourselves in adversity, but that we can also find the empathy and the compassion and the will to deal with the problems that we do control. Most of the issues that we're debating here today are ones that we have the power to change. We don't have the power to prevent illness in all cases, but we do have the power to make sure that every child gets a regular checkup and isn't going to the emergency room for treatable illnesses like asthma. We may not have the power to prevent a hurricane, but we do have the power to make sure that the levees are properly reinforced and we've got a sound emergency plan. And so, part of what I pray for is the strength and the wisdom to be able to act on those things that I can control. And that's what I think has been lacking sometimes in our government. We've got to express those values through our government, not just through our religious institutions.

Faith tempered with reason and responsibility? I was sold. And from that point, he has continued to impress me. It wasn't that he was an eloquent speaker. It was that he was forthright and honest. He wasn't pandering. He actually seemed to believe what he was saying.

McCain also really impressed me with his concession speech. I really do think what I saw that night was the real McCain. It's too bad his GOP handlers corrupted his message. It's also too bad he didn't stand up to them. I don't think he was ever comfortable in this venue. I hope he can continue to redeem himself.

I'm glad it's over. I'm glad Palin and her hateful rhetoric has been kept far away from the Oval office. I feel like going to sleep and not waking up until January 20th.

Turk, we tried playing giant black guy once. Remember what happened?

Indiana's turning blue? WTF is going on?

Really quick update: After fourteen hours in the van, we arrived in Lowell, Mass. just before 11pm. Still sick. Crow's family is awesome. They're feeding us and giving us a place to stay. Their estate is beautiful...in the family three generations. Radio spot later in Boston. Jeff is taking care of me... it's sweet. I'm happy. Longer letter later.

"He used to date deadly serious young women, the kind who wore only black even in summer and never helped clean up after dinner.

'Hey, whatever makes you happy, makes me happy,' I always said, but I was hard pressed to see exactly how life could be jolly with women who always seemed on the verge of piling stones in their pockets and walking out to sea."


For the record, I always help clean up after dinner.

Omg, I totally forgot that today was the fifth annual "Let's smash one of Melissa's car windows for no discernable reason" Day.

The luck, it follows me.

Um, turning thirty (OH NOES) this Friday. Call me if you want to meet up.

I will be keeping my job for at least another year.
I may also get my own office (compete with secret underground lair).
Photos of the new place are forthcoming.

Busy, busy. :-)